A Chinese man took the idea of “plug and play” to a whole new level — by inserting a computer cable into his johnson in a misguided effort to pleasure himself.

The man, whose name was not released, called for paramedics after he got the USB cord lodged in his most private part while drunkenly looking for “love” in a very wrong place. An emergency crew called to the scene was unable to remove the device, so they transported the distressed gent to a hospital, where doctors were forced to perform a delicate procedure that involved three separate incisions.

The surgeon reported that the guy had seen a video online that taught him how to stimulate himself with a charging cable, so thought he’d give it a try — but ended up with a real pain in the laptop. The victim describes himself as “very embarrassed and regretful.”

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