MORON WED

A drunken Florida woman was hauled off to a hospital after she tried to turn her crashed car into a pick-up truck — by offering X-rated favors to the cop sent to rescue her from the wreck.

Jamie Schmude was slumped over behind the wheel with her top off and pants pulled down below her knees when cops arrived at the scene. According to the police report, she was slurring her words incoherently and, after she was taken to the hospital, became angry when questioned by nurses, screaming obscenities between bouts of belching and passing out.

When a cop began to read her rights on the DUI charges, she told him he was “the cutest thing [she’d] ever seen” and suggested he get in the hospital bed with her, before exposing her lady parts and earning an indecent exposure charge to boot.

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