tuesday moron

Employees of a Co-Op are thankful this morning that this guy was probably under the influence of something and not an actual vampire, or band member, or Captain Jack Sparrow

Jacob May in Concord, New Hampshire followed an employee from a dumpster to the back of the building claiming if she touched him, he would save her. While the woman called police, a male employee pulled out a box cutter in self-defense and attempted to lock the attacker in the walk-in freezer, police said.

The authorities were notified of May’s actions. When they arrested him, he claimed to be “vampire, ghost rider, Captain Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean, Mr. Miyagi from Karate Kid and a leader of a band.”

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